A SPECIAL MONday

Today is just not another Monday - today would be my mothers 69th birthday. Most of you know that my mother passed away three years ago on September 1, 2004 from cancer.

Just to write that she would be turning 69 wierd me out a bit. Has it really been more than three years since she's been gone? I guess it has... that was just some of the things I was thinking about today when I was at the cemetary laying next to her grave. I find it fascinating that people die and are buried everyday. I know it's something we hear about daily on the news but we rarely hear about the funeral that follows or visiting the departed on Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Christmas, Birthay, Chanukah or any other special holidays relating to the people who have passed.

It is a privelege to walk through a cemetary and see all the different cultures and customs of different families and ethnicities. For instance, did you know that a lot of Asian cultures place fruit *at Rose Hills we see a lot of Oranges* by the grave. I've heard conflicting reasons why this is done. Anyone know the official reason? I also heard that a lot of religious Asians like to be buried on the highest land in the cemetary, the rational is to be closer to God... kind of beautiful actually! I also notice that many Latinos make it a day of visiting their dead. Food, flowers, elaborate picnics and family all decorate the grave, truly making the day a celebration instead of an ongoing grievance... we could all learn something from this!

All-in-all today was a beautiful day to spend with my father remembering my mom, sharing tidbits about our life with each other and eating lunch. I miss not seeing my dad as often I used to - come to think of it I miss seeing my dad with my mother on his arm.

Tonight is still up in the air, I may go to the gym or I may go ice skating - I have a few hours to decide! Last night was a blast! Hanging out with my coworkers and drinking until 2 a.m. at trashy str8 bars in Burbank/Glendale areas... a lot of fun!!!

Okay, happy birthday mom... I love you!!!

MY FIRST TIME

It is 10:30 in Los Angeles and I just finished watching my very first episode of Seinfeld. I know, hard to believe but I never really wanted to see the show until tonight when there was nothing else on.

OMG, I just realized that in the last few months M*A*S*H has begun to grow on me too... what does this mean?

Lately I havent' been doing much of anything - which sucks! Work has slowed down since Christmas ended, which means less shifts for me. Until I start Collin O'Neal I have to watch what I spend, which means NO Ebay, NO shopping malls, NO buying spontaneous gifts, and last but not least no iTunes - UGH, just writing that killed me! =(

Okay, bed time and another day at the gym... I'm very excited!!

Talk soon!

NICE DAYS

When I have a great day I try to take a mental photograph of what happened that day so I will never forget it - yesterday was that type of a day!

Before I go into my day let me preface my story by saying that I love waking up knowning that I have a full day ahead of me that is yet to be written. Like an improvisational play, my day had a general outline but no set, written in stone tasks to accomplish. What I love more than waking up knowing I have an open day laid out before me is waking up and being totally spontaneous - my day was a hodge podge of both of these kinds of days!

When I woke up I received a email from Anthony Lopez inviting me to lunch at noon and I was happy that my day was going to start me off in the Hollywood area since I expected my day to take me there anyway. Conversing over a great lunch about business and pleasure after the lunch I went to my tanning salon, Silverlake Sun across the street from MJ's bar to start my tanning routine again.


After tanning I hopped over to Melrose to window shop and then to the Penguin store to check out the 'so-called' deals I've been hearing about... TIP: If you live in the Los Angeles area they are having a pretty good sale on some of their closes!

I then called my old gym buddy Ms. Kenny to see if he was going to workout at Ballys Hollywood. If he was I would surprise him and workout there for the day... of course he was and I jammed to the gym to beat him. I wanted to make sure that when he walked through the door I was on the eliptical machine greeting him! Besides Kenny I saw all of my other negro *wink* friends who I graciously adore and worship. Leaving together Kenny and I hopped over to Bossa Nova on Sunset to eat an amazing dinner. Might I add I got their signature Brazilian (Traditional) Pollo dish, while Kenny got Nova's traditional Brazilian (yah right) BBQ Pizza... LOL LOL!

What a great day... today I've found myself sitting back lamenting on how lucky I am to have spent the day so wonderfully and carefree!

Love ya all!!!

A NEW BEGINNING

Today is going to be my first day back at the gym in almost two months - yah, two months, very scary! Me, the person that went to the gym everyday has been reduced to NO gym time! Actually I am a bit reluctant to go to the gym today because I have to go to Ballys in Pasadena for now on. For my friends who don't know my old routine I was very accustomed to going to the Hollywood Ballys. At that gym I made a lot of friends and had so much fun there. The Pasadena gym is small, bricky and I feel claustrophobic in there... it's not a fun gym! Wish me luck, I am going to make it a great sweatbox exercise time... I deserve it!

Love ya....

OFF AND RUNNING

Almost a week into 2008 and the year is going as planned - well sort of!

I believe I've told numerous friends of mine that this year will be a fantastic year filled with change, growth, and happiness! Not only is this the year that I am the most focused and set on achieving what I want to do but I will also hit the big 30!

The last week has been filled with lots of work at the restaurant and getting ready to start my next job in a few weeks. Collin has yet to decided my official hire date but I am guessing it will be around the first of February. We decided that I will be attending the GayVNs with Collin and Rich and I am so excited about that. I feel that for the first time I will have bosses who will value and respect my opinion when it comes to work that will inevitably effect Collin O'Neal productions. The GayVNs were pretty amazing last year and i can't wait to see what happens with them this year... hopefully Kathy Griffin will be back!

In the love department I feel that this year would be a great time to settle down and date someone who I connect with on all levels. They say it's hard to date in LA, and while I do see some truth to that, I also believe that there are many great guys still out there so the search for a great guy is still attainable for me!

I am ready to go to bed now and fall asleep to the rain falling outside...talk soon and love you all!

xxx

SjB

britney v. sagat

Francois Sagat just sent this to my MySpace account, what do you think of it?

It's Been So Long

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!

It's been a few months since I have blogged. Let me be the first to tell you that I've been so busy with transition and change in my life that blogging has been in my mind at all.

Since leaving Cybersocket I've felt a HUGE burden lifted off of my shoulders. While I still freelance for the company it feels nice not to work in the office - too much tension and fear there for me, I miss my coworkers but not the lump in my stomach I would get everyday when I would walk in. Isn't that sad? Somedays I do wake up and wish I could go grab lunch with Michelle or talk shit back and forth with Morgan... ahh, those were the days! =)

The last few months I've been busy working aththe restaurant and enjoying my new FREE life. Going to breakfast/brunch with friends, meeting new friends and even some time for some small romance, December has been a very good month, but I can't wait for 2008 to begin. Is it just me or am I the only one that things 2008 will be an amazing year? In the new year I will be starting a new job, traveling more, making more money and working around people who I respect and admire.

For those that do not know yet Collin O'Neal will be my new employer come 2008. If you've never met him well then you're missing out on knowing a genuine guy. I can say all this because I know he will likely never read my blog so its technically not considered brown nosing. Many people associate the porn industry with heavy drugs, heavy partying, escorting, and lots of fucking - and while Collin might do a lot of fucking, since I've known him I consider him a guy who is down to earth, caring, not a drug addict, and as i said earlier, a genuine sweet man! Rich Tallman, his business partner is the same exact way too, and while it may sound weird, in the year (or so) since I've known them I already consider them almost brothers to me.

A few weeks ago I attended the Bjork concert with Jason Ridge and it was a very interesting night. The Bjork concert experience was a total dissapointment... her voice was flawless but with all the money she pumps into her video you'd think that her concerts would be the same. Eh, not the case. Instead her show was pretty a flatline with spurts of excitement thrown in every 20 minutes or so... ! One of the most impressionable things Bjork has ever done was her performance in Dancer in the Dark, did you see it? If not take a look at this clip below, warning it's a very slow movie but totally worth it! The scene below is a spoiler.


What else has been going on in my life? Hmmm... well I went to Disneyland for Christmas, that was a lot of fun. I went with my brother and his best friends family (most of you know Tony.) In order to go I had to lie to my aunts and tell them I was sick. I don't think I have ever lied to my aunts so for me to lie to them was not only incredibly hard to pull off but to continue keeping. By nature I am not a good or habitual liar, in fact the only time I do lie is if it's a small tiny little white lie or if it's for a greater good.

I promise I will start blogging even more and to even write this blog has taken me a few days... yah i know i am bad!

Talk soon..

SjB