REFLECTION

I'm not bitter that I'm missing White Party this year - the party I can really careless about. I wish I was there because so many of
my friends are there having a good time partying.

I am also glad I'm not there because a friend called and told me that the guy I used to date is there too. I just choose not to be
around someone that I still hold have anger with. I know, I know... get over it and move on, however when my ego is hurt and I feel violated personally than I react different and I gotta tell you that is sucks.

I've discovered that my ego was not hurt because I was abruptly dumped - that's not a problem. Roberto promptly dumped me for his reasons and I was fine with that. Daniel broke it off with me and it hurt me to the bone because I thought we were on the right track and I told him things that I don't just voluntarily tell guys that I'm dating. I am also a bit upset that the guy I thought had a good balance in life had such a fucked up balance. He depended on his friends and father to dictate how he dated people and made decisions which didn't work - and he admitted that!

I am not the kind of person that has wounds heal over night and while that sucks it's something I need to deal with - I know that Daniel is definitely not in a good place either and even if he doesn't think of me at all I know that in the end I will be better off than he is. However on the flip side, the nice guy in me would have loved to have been there for him because I cared a lot about him in such a short amount of time... maybe that was my problem!