Thursday, February 28, 2008


How long have I been sick for now? Almost two weeks thank you very much. Right now it's at the dry A.M. cough stage - so annoying, but I am throwing down more Vitamin C than my body can hold so I am hoping I will be okay by this weekend - oh shit, thats tomorrow.

Last night I drove down to Long Beach to meet up with friends in the city for dinner. When I lived down there for school it was customary to attend Scott #1's weekly Wednesday dinner. Scotty lives on the 23rd floor on Ocean Boulevard and I have to admit its an amazing bachelor pad... too bad he's not a bachelor *wink*!
Everyone is required to sign up for a dish wether it be appetizer, salad, main course or dessert, everyone, at one point or another, brings a dish to share.
We also watch popular YouTube clips and then a film that we all vote on. Joshie and Scott have been doing this for over ten years and I've been doing it (off and on) for three years. Josh and Scott (they are best frieinds not boyfriends) always seem to adopt new guys to come over the years but for some reason the personalities are the same - everyone is very welcoming and friendly.

Ah, what a great trip is was to drive down to the beautiful beach city called Long Beach. The weather yesterday was so perfect - just like the weather I remember when I lived down there. The sky was a beautiful color that resembled a warm reddish, orange sangria... lovely I am telling you. Oddly enough when I was driving down to the city James Blunt came on which is an album that reminds me of the city. For a brief second I closed my eyes as I drove down a street closed to Cal State Long Beach - my alma mater and remembered how great it was to live in a city that has so much culture and positivity.

It's strange but when I close my eyes and think about living in Long Beach, even as I sit here in my room in Monrovia, I can still feel my experiences in Long Beach and the happiness I felt living there. I get conflicted sometimes if I should give up the house I live in now and move back there to make me happy and whole again or should I keep the awesome memories of work, school and friends in my heart to burn forever - I think the latter is the best choice but I can't help to dream about moving back to Long Beach, I do miss it!!!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


If you've never experienced HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH I strongly, strongly recommend you seeing this triumph of a movie. Amazing, Amazing, Amazing!!! What do you think of the song? What do you think of the lyrics?
John Cameron Mitchell is GOD!!!


This one fight brings me to tears yet makes me smile at the same time. While it's entertaining and good (I use the word GOOD loosely, very loosely) television, on the flip side it is also so sad to see humanbeings to treat each other like they did. Most definitly the ugliest fight in Big Brother history, I don't think the words exchanged and said by Joshuah was respectful or even thought about before he uttered pretty horrible words about Amanda's father - no matter how awful and a shit talker she is. Poor Alex, lol, he is royaly f$#ked!

Sunday, February 24, 2008


Tonight I am going to sleep with my Roman Blinds open so that I can see the moonlight before I fall asleep. I also want to keep them open so I can see the sun rise in the morning. A few months ago I had no blinds to darken my room so every morning the suns warm rays would wake me up - how refreshing.

Speaking of sleep, the month of February has been a significant month for dreams. Last night was the second time I have dreamt of my mom this month. Come to think of it, I've never dreamt of my mom twice in a month. What is she trying to tell me? This is also the second consecutive dream in which my mom directly acknowledges my fathers marriage and seems to be okay with it. Is she trying to tell me that she is okay with the marriage? I think she knows that I know she is okay with it but what I am not okay with is the family and Jackie's fake personality. Is my mother telling me to get over it?

This month I've also thought about my future and who it will be with. I would be a damn liar if I didn't think about marriage, a family, children and other domestic things like that. Let's face it, I am not getting any younger - the big THIRTY is right around the corner and it has been a very long time since I dated anyone special.

Call me crazy but I am thinking about going to a psychic about all the issues above. Do you believe in psychics? I like to think that they have some unique clairvoyance about the future and about those who have passed on. On a somewhat seperate note for anyone who was raised in Los Angeles, do you remember Kenny Kingston? He was a frequent guest on Love Line back in the mid-90s. Is he still alive? Wow, I just checked he is. During the radio talkshow his catch phrase if you will was always saying "Hello Sweet Spirit." Do you remember that? He was pretty amazing and I can tell you some pretty creepy LIVE readings he did for callers. He was (and most likely still IS) the real deal!!

Last night I ran from bar to bar with my good friend and co worker Leslie Guetler from Beckham! I ran into a lot of good friends including one special person in particular. =)

Okay, time to go to bed... let's talk tomorrow!

Friday, February 22, 2008


Meet ADELE. I don't know too much about her except that she's a Brit and her voice is incredibly unique. Her website is exceptionally interactive and she has a presence on YouTube as well. Enjoy the following song Hometown Glory and after post me a comment letting me know what you think!

Thursday, February 21, 2008


If there's one thing I would want everyone to know about me is just how much I love music. Okay, maybe that's a generic, much like saying 'everyone likes to smile." But music is a central part of my life, lyrics in particular really move me and can make me a sappy, hopeless romantic or direct me to the Internet to research a verse in a song. Natalie Merchant often quotes many folk songs that I love to look up on the Internet and read more about. One song in particular she sang that got me to think as a kid was the song called What's the Matter Here. Have you heard it? Well it's about child abuse and it's a pretty powerful song that is oddly accompanied by an upbeat backing musical outfit - typical of her former band 10,000 Maniacs. Please, if you haven't heard it then take a few minutes to listen in on a great, timeless song!

On my way to have dinner with a friend tonight I had my iPod on it's usual shuffle. Often times it replays the same old songs time and time again which gets a bit tiring, however tonight it played a song that brought me to tears. Strange because I didn't even know that I had this song on my iPod. What was it doing on there? How did I get it? Did I buy it? I forgot this Angelic song even exsisted, what a great song I let slip from my mind. I know this might sound a bit strange but the lyrics spoke very similarly to some thoughts that have crossed my mind in the past few days and weeks. The song made me vulnerable. After it ended, guess what I did? I sat in my car and listened to it again while waiting for my friend to arrive at the restaurant. Enjoy it below!

Speaking of music Taylor Dayne is on Jimmy Kimmel right now, I gotta see this diva sing! I can't wait to share more music with you tomorrow! Love you all...


YES, YES, YES, YES - CBS ROCKS! CBS has just put season one and season two of The Twilight Zone on their site
Most likely the scariest and most blood curdeling television show to ever be broadcast, I am addicted to see timeless horror stories... GOOD LUCK SLEEPING TONIGHT!!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Mister Sagat, you reading? Watch the following clip, but be patient, you'll be rewarded! For the rest of ya'll the following two clips are just two reasons why Brits will always do it better than us Yanks!

This one is just a phenomenal performance of
RiRi and the Klaxons!!!


I'm sick, so please bare with me as I take my time getting all of my thoughts ands pictures gathered together from my trip!

Monday, February 18, 2008


Wow, what a busy last four days! My trip to San Francisco was a whirlwind trip and while I had a good time soaking up some of the City's culture Los Angeles so desperately needs, I am glad to be home with my dog, my brother and my home!

I have lots of pictures to post on MySpace but until then I will show you some on here as a teaser. To see all the pictures from the GayVN awards and other highlights of my trip log onto

For my final night in San Francisco my boss, Collin O'Neal and I paid a visit to Club Papi's younger club called Pan Dulce. I met up with a guy named Robert and we hit it off instantly! Wow, what a good time we had together! It was so amazing today especially because we went to have breakfast on the 46th floor of the Hiltons 1st Tower to have breakfast at the CityScape Cafe. The meal is a bit pricey but you're paying for the almost 360 degree view of the city (below).
After a hearty breakfast Robert and I decided to walk the city and explore China town and other areas that we haven't seen in an extremely long time. I hadn't been to China Town in over ten years so it was so good to see it again. I think the San Francisco China Town area is so beautifully cohesive. The area is welcoming to everyone that wants to pay a visit but is still historically and wonderfully tied to serving their own community... just so damn beautiful! Before I get to the mushy stuff I have to say that I captured some, well... interesting images on my iPhone! Pictures say a thousand words, check them out below and let me know what you think about these crazy SF signs.

Doesn't your heart break for the first image and smile for the modesty of the second?
Robert and I walked hand in hand for nearly two hours unaffected about anybody else but what our talks and getting to know one another. Were there sparks? I definitly think so! Will we end up dating? I would love to, but I think we are at two different places in our lives. I really want to keep in touch with this stud hang out with him when he comes to LA next month and when we are in NYC in May together!
How hot is he? Love ya Robert, you're my boy! After our walk he drove me to the airport and dropped me off, leaving me with a kiss, he is a romantic one. I have to give him major kudos for holding my hand during our walk and being ultra comfortable for being 24 years old and safe in his own skin. I also have to mention how cute it was during breakfast when the waiter pulled out Roberts chair for him across the table from me but instead Robert insisted on sitting next to me so we could sit next to each other and eat together. I will admit I hate when people do this at my job but in this case the surprise of Robert doing it was very, very adorable!
Okay, I need to be up early to do more work for Collin O'Neal - it has been a long day! Tomorrow I will definitely post pictures on MySpace and talk about the GayVNs!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Today was such a wierd day. Nothing spectacular happened in particular and yet I feel so content and happy right now. Of course I have many things on my mind, yet the little problems that have been bugging me lately aren't at the forefront of my mind. Right now I am slowly getting in prep mode to go up to San Francisco to network and start my new job with Collin O'Neal, which I am really looking forward too!

Numerous people have already told me that I will get laid up there and have lots of sex, but these are mostly people that do no work in the adult industry. Maybe it's my face or just my luck but I dont usually get laid on business trips - even if it's for something having to do with the adult industry! Last year I went up to SF and stayed in a huge room and it didn't have any strangers in it at all... hard to believe I know *wink*! This year will likely be the same as it was in Chicago and SF... no luck for me, but that is okay. Right?

I remember when I was 19,20 and 21-years old and ventured out to the various gay prides in different cities. I can recollect that I would let how many numbers I got from different dudes determine how much fun or success I had for that Pride Fest, pretty f*&king shallow and useless looking back. Now when I attend any Gay Pride festival if I get a nice smile from a goodlooking guy I am giddy and set for the entire day... oh getting older sucks *wink*!

This weekend will be a bit different because many of my friends in the adult industry that I adore will NOT be there. =( Francois Sagat said he is not attending, Victor Banda will also NOT be attending, and while I haven't spoken with Francesco D'Macho in a few months I don' think he will be there with Hot House either. Those girls are my b##ches and I love them so much... maybe they are all lying to me and are going to show up and surprise me... eh, eh? I won't hold my breath!

Did anyone watch Big Brother tonight? DRAMA!!!! That's all I have to say about that show so far.... very delicious!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MATT WITH HIS SHIRT OFF. Thankfully I wasn't in this house - I would have raped this boy on SHO TIME after dark! lol

GAY JOSHUAH is pretty hot too.... YUMMY!!!




Sunday, February 10, 2008


I don't read *books* but when I am out and my eye catches what could be a good book to browse through or for a good friends I snap pictures of them with my iPhone. Whether I try to find them for a cheaper price online or just to show someone that the book reminded me of, I thought these two books I should share with you guys!


I love living in LA. Last month I saw a sheep/goat in the back of a pickup truck. This month, actually a few days ago I was amazed to see the above car driving with only one backup tail light. Do you see what I am talkin' about? Very, very strange! Upon numerous surveys people I have shown this picture to the most popular answers are: Scion has decided that two lights are a bit unnecessary, or buying two is an extra luxury, inevitably costing the consumer more money.

What do you think?


Last Saturday my former coworker, Voyta, and myself went hiking into Eaton Canyon.

Voyta is a guy that I barely got to know before I left Cybersocket in December however we have still managed to stay in touch and talk from time to time. Yesterday around 3 p.m. he told me that he wanted to go hiking and I invited him over to my place to go hiking to a trail I've been thinking about venturing into to.

Voyta got to my house around 4:30 and we quickly set off to Eaton Canyon with JJ by our side. It was amazing to see JJ so concentrated on hiking and so little concerned with the other dogs that loved him. When I called his name he wouldn't even look back at me, he was way too busy smelling and making sure his every step was the correct one.

We three made our way through a small creek (JJ wasn't too happy about jumping all the rocks to avoid getting wet) and instantly started the incline hike. Other hikes I've been on the incline is gradual, Eaton is just the opposite - I loved it!

Everyone was headed back when we were barely starting our adventure. We climbed for about an hour or so and then decided that maybe we should slowly slide down this steep rock decline to follow the riverbed back to our car. This would have worked if I didn't have JJ, the drop was steep - too steep for a dog to maneuvre down so after 15 minutes of trying to decide what path to take down Voyta and I decided it was better to go back the way we came.

To quote Tony when we hiked a few weeks ago
"Isn't this how people end up on the news!?"

Hiking both down and uphill to get back to our car we were losing light fast and I was a bit anxious to get back. Voyta kept telling me that it was going to be a task getting across the creek with JJ, however I was just worried about being in total darkness.

Sure enough, WE GOT LOST!!! To make a long story short, Voyta felt that we should go back about five minutes to retrace our steps and I was sure we should keep hiking up hill and keep going back from where I thought we came from. As it grew darker I stared to lose my cool and told Voyta if he was wrong he owed me dinner and vice versa. We walked, and walked and walked, closly retracing our steps - and I have to be honest that visions of The Blair Witch Project flashed into my head. Silently I started to panic and loose it. I kept telling Voyta that I didn't want to have to call the police, ending up on the news - thankfully it was a warm night.

Voyta was right and he found a very small clearing that we came from on the uphill climb hours before. It was small and I think he found it with the aide of his cell phone - THANKFULLY! The hike down was about 30 to 45 minutes and when I saw houses and patio lights on I calmed down a lot. Even though they were far, far away I knew we weren't so alone.

Interestingly we ran into a family that was hiking in the opposite direction as we were headed back down the riverbed to their car (we assumed.) It was a father, mother and their young children - too dark and dangerous for children to be hiking in my opinion. Voyta and I finally found the creek and instead of jumping from rock to rock we decided to remove our shoes and socks and pull JJ through the creek. I am serious we really had to drag his ass through the creek - he HATES water!!

We ran into another group of hikers who helped us get out of the canyon completely - by this time it was pitch dark and the trails were at almost zero visability. Afterwards Voyta and I went to a local gay mexican restaurant La Nueva Posada to get drunk on margaritas and cerveza - my treat of course! JJ slept in the car, I am sure he was stressed and tired of hearing me freak out on poor Voyta!

Voyta and I are going to go hiking in a few weeks in the same location and seek out the waterfall (above) that everyone was talking about but we never got to see. The only thing we decided to do different is to leave earlier and bring food, water and beer! Anyone game?


It sucks when a guy stops calling you and you were into him! I remember I used to do this to guys a lot when I was 24-years-old so maybe it is karma kicking me in the ass.

Angela, my coworker, came up with a few reasons as to why he stopped calling me on such wierd terms, especially after we had such a good time the day before (or at least I thought we had a great time.) Was he afraid that I was ready for a commitment and he wasn't? Was he just not into me (thats my theory) ? Was he just a dog that needed to fill time (I don't think that is the case, and my faith in mankind tries to ignore that negative way of thinking)?

Maybe I will never find out, but one thing I am certain of is that we will see each other out in the jungles of Los Angeles and it will be interesting. I didn't want to focus too much on being dumped while dating but it has been on my mind, and with Valentines Day approaching its been weighing on my heart even more.

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